Did anyone see their new nest? It must have been built by a Dodo!
It’s a simple fact: We’re all critics, and we’re all critiqued.
I’m not just talking about critiques of our writing. I’m talking about reviews of our fashion choices, our parenting, our politics, our partners; everything that we are, everything we do, is fodder for critique.
And we all do it. Come on now, admit it. The woman in the shiny Lexus SUV who almost took out your limping 1997 CRV because she was texting through a busy parking lot this morning? Yeah, you bet I critiqued her.
Of course we’re all entitled to our opinions. Absolutely. It makes us who we are and makes the world a thrillingly diverse place. But at what point does criticism cross a line between disagreement and unwarranted disdain?
I think you all know where I’m going with this. Think Amazon reviews.
Now I should admit I have never written one, and when I read them, it is usually after the fact, if I’m curious as to whether another reader shared my admiration or confusion over a book’s plot point, ending choice, etc. But what boggles my mind is the excessive amount of unproductive criticism that is out there for books. (It’s out there for just about everything, I know, but I’ll keep this relevant to writing for now.)
For example, I’ve read Amazon reader reviews that suggested Pat Conroy can’t write. Now come on, stop it. Just stop it. I mean, seriously, who can write that with a straight face? You can say Conroy’s stories are often built on tough subject matter that you don’t enjoy reading about, or that his characters are sometimes fiercely unlikable and make choices that infuriate you. But I’m sorry–you simply cannot say the man can’t write. Now admittedly, I’m biased. I’m a huge fan. I think his prose is heartbreakingly beautiful. But telling me and the rest of the reading public that an established author can’t write is not only not true, it’s not helpful.
So of course this realization has made me consider how I’ll take my own share of disgruntled readers to my debut novel when it comes out next year. Will I be tough enough to take the reviews with the necessary grains of salt (on the rim of my consolatory margarita?), or will I find myself wracked with self-doubt? It’s easy to blow off harsh criticism of another writer’s work–but what about when it’s mine?
I remember very vividly as a young girl that the very whisper of criticism sent me down the rabbit hole of despair. No matter how gentle or how faint. No matter if delivered with a no-bake cookie or a glowing smile. I. Was. Crushed.
Then, something happened. I grew up and began to take criticism..well, well.
Maybe it was my college art professor who took one look at my still life of a paper bag and declared to the rest of the class that my highlighting resembled “pigeon shit”. Okay, I thought. So it looked like pigeon shit. I didn’t sputter a defense, I didn’t wilt. I nodded, I might have even smiled. It was a review. There’d be a lifetime of them. Better get used to them if I wanted to put my work out there.
And I did, repeatedly. Query after query of work. And I won’t lie and say the rejections didn’t sting, or that it got easier to kick myself out of my own pity party when everyone else had gone home, but for those of us who put ourselves out there, for that date, that job, that manuscript, we don’t have a choice.
Nowadays I crave reviews of my writing. When my editor has notes on a draft, I can’t wait to hear them. I mean it. I see every review, every constructive piece of criticism as an opportunity to grow as a writer. And I love it. I really, really do.
So tell me how tough you think you are when it comes to criticism of your work? Have you ever written a harsh review of a book? What was the first time you realized constructive criticism could actually be GOOD for a person?
I, too, love constructive criticism. I’ve learned to be very open to them over the years I’ve been writing. Especially since I used to post my work online to build readership. I received reviews from other readers so many gave me faith in my ability, and the meaner ones strengthened my backbone. The query rejections thickened my skin. Or so I’m thinking. I don’t think I’ll take my first few harsh reviews very well when my book is published one day. I think that’s a whole new story, because the fact that your book is out in THE world, makes one vulnerable. I think. I’m just guessing here. Doesn’t it unsettle you a bit, knowing that your novel will one day be read by REAL critics? By trained professionals? I think I would be. And therefore, I’ll need to learn again how to take criticisms.
Ehm. I’ve been writing books for about eights years now. I haven’t received anything too harsh. The worst review I got would only go so far as to see that some chapters dragged the story. The one that hit me hard was not directed at my manuscript, per se, but my character. I always allowed my insecurities of my chapters to show. And this must have turned to read off big time. But thanks to her, I learned how to be more professional, and learned that some things are better kept behind the scene.
June, it can be so hard to separate ourselves from our writing. Agents are always saying don’t take the rejections personally, but how can we not, right? What is more personal, more a reflection of who we are as individuals, than our writing? But I think that’s okay–because since it is something so personal, we are that much more committed to seeing it through, to sticking with it, to defending it fiercely, and working to make it better.
When I first got brave enough to put something out there, I was ready for the criticism but it was still hard. Now, I want it. Sometimes I don’t like it. But the longer I think about some of the critiques, the more I realize they’re right. Now, admittedly, you can never please everyone, and that’s something I had to learn also. If I really consider someone’s advice and still come to the conclusion it doesn’t work for me, then I have also learned to trust my own judgement and stick with what I have.
I agree, Shari. Early on, especially with agent responses, we are sometimes SO eager to please and find representation that we agree to any and all changes. But they must seem right to us, and that sense comes the longer we write. I remember when my soon-to-be-agent first posed her ideas for revisions for my novel, and I felt inspired by every one–I thought, yes, this is right.
“I remember very vividly as a young girl that the very whisper of criticism sent me down the rabbit hole of despair. No matter how gentle or how faint. No matter if delivered with a no-bake cookie or a glowing smile. I. Was. Crushed.”
Erika, this was me! I was exactly like this, with the least bit of criticism I would secretly go to my room, start crying, and swore that I would never write another word. This was when I was around 18-19. Then I joined a creative writing workshop and for two and a half years I learned how to take and use constructive criticism, how to avoid unproductive criticism and then I started to LOVE criticism. And I mean love it, the more the better!
It’s amazing turn, isn’t it, Lua? When you finally feel that immediate sense of crushing despair fade away and become something strong and determined–yes! You can finally distance yourself enough from the harsh words and see them for what they are. Conversely, we want to be effective critics for our fellow writers/critique group members. Telling someone their work is flawless and perfect doesn’t help. I certainly don’t want to hear that. Don’t get me wrong, I want to hear good things from readers, that they were moved, that their thinking was changed, etc, but if there’s something concrete there that confused/upset/distracted the reader, I sure want to know that too.
You’re right, Erika — Writing IS personal. So much time, thought and emotion goes into it, and then you offer it up to be accepted…or not. Characters and events that you write about are all little pieces of you. I don’t write memoirs, but I imagine that the critiquing/editing process on that genre could be brutal — how to separate negative criticism of the words/set-up, from the person’s life story?
I’ve also come to look forward to hearing feedback on my work. But, you’re right — it can still sting sometimes. I had written a short story for a children’s magazine that had been a dream process — very few, minor edits. When they asked me to do a sequel, I thought, “piece of cake.” Well, instead of an email, saying, “Everything looks great,” I received a phone call, “Amanda, we need some changes.” And, they were substantial. However, the story ended up working so much better for my editor’s kind direction.
Amanda, I know that feeling. You’re so certain something’s working and then you get another set of eyes on it and…yup. Rewrite. And then, amazingly, you prefer (ideally) the revised copy. Great to get to that end point, even if it can be a grueling trip.
I look forward to getting professional critique. At first I took to heart every bit of feedback in my critique group, but then I started to realize that these people were not always right. Now, I change what makes sense to me and ignore what doesn’t.
Recently, I read some reviews on Amazon and thought about how I would react if someone said such things about my work. I decided I won’t read them.
I’ll let someone I trust read and let me know if they find any valid criticism in them. Otherwise, I’ll just consider them opinions and some people are just impossible to please.
Linda, I like that idea. It’s a bit of the peek-between-the-fingers during a horror movie, isn’t it? You know you’ll be sorry you looked, but, boy, you can’t resist a peek!
Peeking between the fingers … yes, that’s me too.
Isn’t it funny that we’re commenting on each others blogs simultaneously? I love the virtual world.
I have posted book reviews on Amazon, but trying to point out the good parts. Even when I reviewed a friend’s book I thought needed editing, I gave it 5 stars and said I wanted more of that in spite of the book’s flaws.
OK, I do very “generic” reviews on Amazon, and usually add a line or two on the writing when I post them on my blog (which has much less traffic than Amazon anyway, haha), but I always try to be positive.
But then there are readers who just want to trash everything. And as a writer, I know I can’t please everybody.
I get critiques from my writers group, mostly, and consider myself the most humble author of the planet, but we’ll see what happens when I get published and hear the reviews of unknown…
Barb, you hit the nail on the head with knowing you can’t please everyone. Talk about a huge life lesson–not just in writing, right?
But when writing, I think that mantra is a liberating one. There will always be critics who have to find fault, some more vehemently than others, but those who find joy in your writing are there too and the key is to focus on the positives (and, yes, the constructive negatives as well).
Whatever will make us stronger writers at the end of the day.
When I submitted the first chapter of my current novel to the Online Writing Workshop, I prepared myself for accolades of praise. I thought I had written the next fantasy masterpiece and these amateurs would bow down to my superior writing skills. Yeah, I know, it’s funny.
I cried (I mean it literally) WEPT when the first critiques started coming in. I was ready to give up, and I really mean stop writing forever. Then I looked at what the people were saying, and I realized they were right: the prose was obscure, the scenes lacked description, and everyone was confused as to who the protagonist was because I’d started the story in the wrong place.
I made a decision then and there to always be humble and open to criticism of my writing, and I’m going to tell you now, those people really helped me write a good manuscript. I am forever grateful for their guidance.
As to Amazon reviews: I don’t put any stock in them at all. There are some reviews that really make me wonder if the people have even read the book, and when the reviewers started their ebook crusade by giving poor reviews to books because the publishers hadn’t released the ebook simultaneously, I stopped reading Amazon reviews altogether.
As a reviewer, I always try to see the good in a novel, and the book has to be downright rank for me to give it a poor review. This is because what doesn’t appeal to me, might very well appeal to someone else. So don’t worry too much about reviews, you’ll be fine!
Thank you, Teresa–and thanks for the thoughtful comment. It is such a humbling experience, isn’t it? I know that feeling–I think it’s important to feel strong about our work and committed to it, to imagine it as everything we hope it can be–then when the critiques come in, it seems like all that is torn away, but it isn’t so. As you say, the reviews/critiques are only to make it even stronger.
It is a good feeling to find that place of feeling positive and secure about our work, but confident enough to absorb constructive criticism.
And too true about Amazon…I had the same thought when I read a one star review that was one star, not because the reader didn’t like the book, but because it had arrived two weeks late! Huh?
Hope you’re staying cool in your part of our mutual state!
I am loving your reflections on the writing process, Erika. I am teaching writing to inmates at the county jail this summer, including to some who have experienced Bart’s wise counsel in the past. Your posts are becoming my syllabus. I just had the pep talk about constructive criticism and persistence with them. It’s a tough sell. Most of the criticism in their lives has been destructive and belittling. They are easily discouraged and quick to give up. Hope you will keep sharing your thoughts, at least until the end of August when my course concludes. Thanks.
Dave, I’m flattered. And I was going to ask if Bart’s name has come up yet–you’ll have to share that with him at some point. Your observations of your current students are sobering. It’s hard enough to find (and maintain) self-confidence in a field that delivers a sometimes constant stream of discouragement for those of us who have a support system in place–I can only imagine how challenging it must be when you, as you say, have never come from a place of support and encouragement. What a great service you are doing.